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Crossovers on Crack

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The missing St. Patrick's Day Special [Jun. 20th, 2006|03:20 am]
Crossovers on Crack

ed_vs_angel

[kalaidascopeeye]
Hello, EVA fans! If any exist. By God, I will effectively pimp this community SOMEDAY. Right. So, I'm saving Lyd the heartache of finding all the new chappies and archiving them. This, my friends, is the famed St. Pat's special that was lost in her journal somewhere, until I found it tonight. Chronologically, it comes before Chapter 7 and after Chapter 6, just in case any of your were confused with the cliffy from 6 dissapearing like that. Now here it is, for all your viewing pleasure.

Crossover: Fullmetal Alchemist/Angel/mysterious movie fandom(s)
Genre: Crack/Slash/Horror?
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Scary Mary-Sue Authoress, cat fights, surprise guest slash couples


Ed vs Angel SAINT PATRICK’S DAY SPECIAL

*evil laughter*

2: Holy crap, what is that??

1: I feel afraid, somehow…

Special Guest Authoress 3: ME!! *clad in green Irish attire*

2: NO!! *hides under sofa*

1: *faints*

3: Hiya! I’m the third, IRISH, authoress, lads and lassies.

All: *stare*

Doyle: OMG yes! *hands her green beer*

3: *checks him out* A toppa the mornin’, laddie. *big, wide, grin*

All Females: *glare at charming, eerily Mary-Sue-ish authoress*

1 and Animepeople: *take cover*

2 and Cordy: Hey! He’s ours!

3: *takes out shamrock-shaped scepter* Back, infidels, BACK!

Cordy: Infidel? You back off, bitch!

3: *flips hair* Don’t hate me ‘cause I’m Irish, blonde wannabe.

Angel: *tries to flip his hair*

Angel: Crap.

3: *stares at Angel* I’ll pray for you, strange vampire laddie. *crosses herself*

2: *glaring at Cordelia* I want Doyle too!

Cordy: Hey! Aren’t you a Doyle/Cordy shipper? Some loyal fan you are!

2: *points to Cordy* You. Me. NOW!

2 and Cordelia proceed to fight. 3 steals Doyle. 1 cowers with her animepeople.

3: Doyle, darling Irish laddie, let’s get out of here before *points at 2 and Cordy* they start going blonde on each other.

1: Hellooo?? Plot? Remember that?

1: AND WHY IS THIS IRISH CHICK TAKING OVER MY JOB!!

3: *waves scepter* I SAID BACK, BITCH! *eyes burn fire*

1: *cringes* Help!

Animepeople: . . .

Others: *stare*

3: What’re you looking ay ye bunch of ninnies?!

Envy: Oh, that word! I remember it!

3: I knew I shoulda stayed in Ireland.

Doyle: Let’s go back together!

Cordy: DOOOOOOOOOYLE!

3: Yer blonde-wannabe is mighty strange. *flashes Sue-ish smile* No matter Doyle-duddums, let’s go!

Spike: What’s wrong with blondes?

3: It’s not MY fault you peroxide in your brains!

Envy: *strangled sound*

Spike: How did you KNOW?

3: Because, I’m mysteriously~ *pauses dramatically* -a Mary Sue. *flashes dazzling smile and flips flawless hair*

Angel: *yet again tries to flip hair*

3: STOP IT, YE AMATUER!

Angel: *cowers in a girlish fashion*

1: *whimpers* The plot? The plot?

Ed: I’d give it up, if I were you.

Ominously, a *gasp* PLOT shows up!

Angel’s cell: Deedle deedle deedle

3: OOOH! Look! It’s Will and Jack!

Phone: Deedle deedle deedle

3: *saunters up to Jack* Hey laddie, you come here often?

Jack: *stares at Will* You hear anything, love?

Will: Not a thing, Jackie dearest.

3: *realizes her powers have no effect* What’s WRONG with ye, you great ninny?

(Envy: Whee! That word again!)

Jack: I’m in love with Will, O random voice from nowhere.

1: That’s right, Mary Sueisms don’t work on slash couples.

3: *glare furiously at Will* That’s IT, you’re going down, ye pretty pirate!

Phone: DEEDLE DEEDLE DEEDLE

3: *before advancing on Will, turns around* ANSWER THE FREAKIN’ PHONE!

2: FINE!! *snatches Angel’s cell and flips it open* Hello?

Phone: What’s your favorite scary movie?,

2: Showgirls. Absolutely terrifying.

All: Yes. Amen.

Phone: Do you know how it feels to scrape bone beneath the flesh?

2: Yeah, DUH!

1: …Who’s asking?

Suddenly…

Billy and Stu APPEAR

John: And me!!

2: OH MY GAWD!! Billy and Stu had an illegitimate love child!

Somewhere, Sydney randomly faints.

1: What, another one?

Wrath: Great, I’m not special anymore. *sulks*

Angel: No, son, you ARE special!

3: *cowers away from John* Aaaah! It burns! *babbles Gaelic prayers*

Cordy: HA! You’re afraid of John!

3: *glare* I’LL give ye something to be afraid of!

Cordy: Doyle! Help!

Doyle: Can’t help ya.

2: Really? YAY, Doyle’s mine!

Cordy: NEVAR!

Stu: Hello? Hello? We’re here to KILL YOU ALL!!

Billy: We all go a little mad sometimes…

Stu: Look at our little prodigy! Isn’t he cuuute?

John: *smiles*

2: GAH! It’s Smile Time! *thinks about puppets*

Ed: Holy crap, she’s in the fetal position!

All: *cringe*

Randy: *makes his random appearance*

Randy: I’ll save you!

2: OMG! It’s my TROO LOVE!!

Randy: … *backs away*

2: NOOOO!

Randy: Freakish stalkers kind of… turn me off.

Billy: *grin*

2: I promise to be good!

Randy: Prove yourself worthy. What is the third rule of a scary movie?

2: Ooh! I know this one! *begins to shamelessly quote Scream*

1: Ahhhhgh!

Randy: OMG! I love you!

1: Get that fluff outta here!

1: *banishes 2 and Randy*

3: *bites nails while avidly wayching Scream* Forget that Jamie! LOOK BEHIND YOU, JAMIE!

John: *walks innocently over to Irish authoress* Hi! *pokes her*

3: *starts to shake uncontrollably* No, ye infernal beast! Ye touched me!

Authoress 3 crumbles into dust

1: …What a lame way to die.

1: YOSH! I have my spot back!

Billy/Stu: We’re so proud of you, son!

John: *pokes them*

Billy/Stu: *DIE*

Stu: *moan*

2: I return!

1: Know what. let's just cut the crap and end this chapter.

Okay, the CRAP HAS BEEN CUT! Chapter taken over by Mary Sue Authoress? Billy and Stu's love child definitely NOT said Authoress' little brother?! PSYCHO KILLER SLASH? ZOMG!

HOW WILL THE SQUIRRELS BLOW UP VERIZON?
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